Shorties Need Love Too: A Very Necessary PSA from Yours Truly

Dear Men of New York,

 As a 4'11 Singleton, I'd like to remind you that there are some very great things that you're missing - especially me...because all of you are so tall that you can't even be bothered to look DOWN when you're walking. I'm here to tell you that shorties - yes, all the girls who might not be your Giselle glamazons - are wookin pa nub too. While I was strolling through Midtown today, not ONE of you tasty morsels bothered looking DOWN. You looked straight ahead. You looked at the sky, but you could not be bothered to look at least one foot down. If you can't spot me or any other girl who isn't 5'5, what else are you missing? Let me give you the breakdown: 

 1. Dog, rat, cat, and human (ew) feces. Wonder why you go to work reeking of fecal matter? Because you can't be bothered to look down while walking. You might have seen something, perhaps someone, trying to tell you that you were going to step in merde, but you know what? I guess your overall entitled quality of life of being a giant made you push me aside while I was gently saying, "Why Handsome Sir, you cannot step there, for there - yes there, is a heaping pile of human feces in which your Louboutins are about to step." 

 2. Flowers or young saplings thriving to survive in Brooklyn. Yeah. I didn't quite like that book, either. I don't know where I was going with that one, but I had hoped somewhere good. Epic fail. Happens to the best of us.

 3. Street furniture (read: bedbugs). 

 That's all that I could think of for now. I wanted to keep this short - much like my height. Remember, gentlemen: LOOK DOWN when you're walking. You just might find the love of your life standing there...waiting...or tugging at your pants leg.